THINGS TO DO WHEN YOURE UP LATE WITH A FIRE CROTCH DUE TO A UTI
According to my cousin and I. You're welcome, btw. 👌🏼👯🔥
- •Drink orange juice.It won't soothe the burning pain but it'll make your bowels move along nicely.
- •Use a heat packAdd a heat pack or hot water bottle until your labia is bright red with heat rash that resembles a mild case of herpes simplex A.
- •HydrateDrinking so much water you nearly drown yourself in your attempt to put out the scorching flames in your loins.
- •Eat razor bladesIt's probably less pain than trying to urinate them out.
- •Distract.watch Law and Order SVU or Friends whilst icing your fire crotch.
- •Drown your sorrowsMore drinking gin to drown the pain of said burning vagina caused by drinking and / or sex. Careful not to mix alcohol with fire..... 💣
- •Tell LIST.APP some personal shit.Write a list about ways to distract yourself when your vagina feels like it has the flames of hell burning within it.
- •PressureWalk around with your hand on your vagina pressing hard so you don't have to bother yourself by tensing your loins kegal style for like, a fucking week, to avoid the discomfort and constant burning. Fuck people who stare, send a fire ball at them. AYUKEEEEEN.
- •Cry.Cos it's the damn pits.