Don't worry, visual aids included. 💩
  1. "Protein" balls
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    When you open the cupboard and realise you have a rodent cohabitation going on.
  2. Avocado pesto
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    For when you've drank way too much and you have been constipated for three days proceeding the hangover.
  3. Nutella
    376f8206 a1f5 4129 a96e e1b2015094e3
    When you've had too much yeast in your diet. Hope you have at least five rolls of toilet paper and a bidet.
  4. Hummus
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    I believe we referred to this pasty little number as "grog bog" in our earlier years....
  5. Cookies
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    It's like when a dog dumps in the backyard and it dries out and you have to try to dislodge it from grass blades when it's crunchy and breakable.
  6. Kiflis
    Bde514a2 7bf2 43a7 b3b2 d3f3de6daf11
    Similar to the former. Except this is where the dog dung has been sitting for so long that it's become like uneaten chocolate: white and chalky. Whaaat
  7. Protein Bar
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    When you don't have enough fibre and your leavings develop harsh edges.