Thoughts While Watching The Bachelorette for the First Time Ever

My friends love The Bachelor/ette, and I decided to watch one episode with them. I have a lot of thoughts.
  1. Almost all of these dudes look exactly the same.
  2. Wells (far right) is much more likable compared to all these bros than he is on the radio/social media/in person.
    We were anti-Wells long before he was cast on this show because he was mean to my friend. Also, he gets paid to post those puppy photos, just sayin. But in a room of muscly frat boys, he's honestly my top pick.
  3. I mean, I actually rooted for him to kiss her.
    Even though I was only watching this episode to see him get kicked off.
  4. I saw Fuerza Buta on my first visit to NYC six years ago, and it was amazing.
    Good work, Jojo's producers.
  5. I really want to know who Wells' ex-girlfriend is.
    Because Nashville isn't that big, and she's probably living in my neighborhood, watching this with her friends, dying. (Gif via http://previously.tv/the-bachelorette/dont-cray-for-me-argentina-the-bachelorette/)
  6. This show is two hours every single week?
    I caught sight of the DVR for the first time, and we were only ¼ of the way done.
  7. Now that Wells is gone, I'm just struggling to figure out who is who.
    Aaron Rodgers Jr. has his brother's eyes and loves to swirl wine, but they all have the same hair poof and manicured beard situation.
  8. Except for dark-haired Jim Halpert.
    His name is Derek and I briefly like him, so he obviously gets eliminated immediately. He literally cries in the van in Argentina while a soprano sings "Don't Cry for Me Argentina" to Jojo and the other dude. I can't make this up.
  9. The roses are tiny.
    And Jojo doesn't know how to pin a boutonnière.
  10. The show isn't completely predicable...
    Instead of keeping one, I thought she was going to send both Not James Taylor and The Short One home, but she had both of them stay. *I* would've eliminated them both. (To quote my friend's husband, more twists than M. Night Shamalyan.)
  11. I know nothing about reality TV.
    My friends laughed that I didn't know what this fanny pack mic thing was. I don't think I've watched a reality show since the third season of Jersey Shore...
  12. Still, I'm glad I tuned in.
    It was entertaining, at least, to see how this all actually works, and to hear my friends' hilarious commentary. Plus the bizarre fact of how many of the guys have Nashville connections.
  13. But I'm going to stick with local recaps and Unreal.