Ladies, all the ladies, louder now..! Big sister Jess listing about having it all!
- •After a little chit chat about future stuff (goals), a friend said 'I don't think I'm too old..' and I shuddered. Important to note, she's early 20s! This conversation sparked a series of super psych-nerd thoughts as I drove to the library this morning.
- •Depending on how we're raised, who we socialise with and/or our own unique self-belief systems cultivated over years of highs and lows, we tend to sell ourselves way short of our potential.
- •Sometimes we kill off our potential with being martyrs of devotion to others. Yet, here is a little secret, we're better people to others when we've put ourselves first.The trick is to find balance with that last one if you have dependents. Also and slightly off topic, when we put ourselves first, we usually elevate our confidence which in turn makes us (all over) more attractive people.
- •Yet most women I know have high-hopes for their future.. living in a headspace that may not match their reality. I, for one, am definitely one of those women! We want it all.. and we can have it!Because we're women!.. hear us roarrrrrr! Ok. That was cheesy. Fuck it. I do cheesy sometimes.. it's adorable!
- •So, here are the things I've learned over my years of trial and error. This is how you Get It. All Of It! Step by step:
- •1. Lose the self-limiting beliefs and 'social norms' getting in your way. And don't ever ever let 'him' break your stride like I once did!Ugh. Young love and I was such a sucker! Don't get me wrong. I loooove young love, yet now I know I come first (umm, well yes, that too!). I once had a boyf who told me he'd leave me if I pursued a dream. Let's just say I'm no Hollywood actress. This lesson is also true of what your family believe. I know my mum's values are different to mine. This was a very big lesson to learn. She is risk averse.. I'm a risk taker. Also, social norms.. hmm. What's normal? I will continue to ask this.
- •2. Circles of control. I'm a reformed control freak (legit), so I know a thing or two about this topic. Learn your circles of control. Let me help get you started![CAN'T CONTROL] • When you'll find Mr/Miss Right. Just have a shit-ton of fun + drop the wedding dream. Drop it. • If AND when you'll have children. Have you even considered if *you* want them? (Refer to Step 1!) • Bad shit happening. Like your Dad dying after your 22nd birthday. [CAN CONTROL] • YOU!.. the way you respond to bad things. • Trying as many new things as you can. • Finding ways to improve self-belief, confidence + communication. • The people you surround yourself with.
- •3. Know what you want. Also, it's your prerogative to change your mind. Whether you chase a dream, get a higher education or just try new things on the regular.. learn what you want by getting out of your head and into the actual realm of action!A lot of people wind up not knowing who they are. It's so crazy, but then also not if you spend enough time thinking about the norms that control us. The only way to know what you want is to a) admit it b) try new things .. experiment with short course and hobbies c) ask a bunch of friends what they picture you doing (close, very trusted friends.. you know the ones). Attend goal setting workshops and learn your core values. It all helps.
- •4. Age is a guideline. Truly! I set a new goal the other day to win Best Supporting Actress at 80, like 'old Rose' from The Titanic! (did she win?!). Ok, so there are some age limits that are important to observe, yet when it comes to achieving goals.. it is but a number!Again, I know this first hand. I spent the better part of almost twenty years trying to find something to do with my life!.. and now it's going to take me another 6-8 years to get it! (Well I'm one year down at least!). I literally just signed up to do a voiceover course. I'm nearly 40, guys. I ran a marathon at 32 and I was one of the young ones! Cut the "but I'm [x] years old" bullshit and refer to Step 1!
- •5. Sometimes you need to throw the life-plan out! Legit! And I'm a Virgo telling you that! Seriously though, have a loose plan AND keep your eye out for opportunities. If an opportunity presents and you're keen, your first response needs to be 'absolutely let me work it out and get back to you' ... or simply 'hell yeah!'The most amazing times I've had were when I was spontaneous and then moved things around to stay in integrity with my life. You know what, it could alter the course of your life. I'll give you a hot take for free.. the more fun shit you do, the more people you open yourself to, the more the opportunities present themselves. Also, share your dreams with people. Be brave. It could open some wicked doors!.. oh and goal-sharing is inspiring.
- •6. Multitask. Another hot take, women have a multitasking gene that men don't have. Ok. That's potentially a lie. I have no idea. But you believed it, right! That's all that matters. You can handle more than you think. You also don't need to do shit in sequence (such an important lesson!)So if you have a day job, you can also have a night job or a night course!.. If creative is your pursuit *newsflash* you can dedicate as little as 30 minutes in your day to writing (as I've started to do) or art etc. Like to sing? Take night or weekend classes. Love beer? Find your local brewer and set up a home microbrewery. Don't get enough you time? Tell your fam that you're off limits while cooking dinner and put on an educational (or entertaining) podcast.
- •The reality is that there are many other obstacles like money and 'responsibilities', yet the first real challenge is getting past yourself. We find ways to work the other stuff in to the things we truly want.
- •So, happy goal setting and gettin' it all!