Self Love.

Alt titles: [ego, sit the fuck back down] [why I like pets] [can we get real for a moment, please] [currently] [list for me] ... with nothing but love + gratitude for @jpbateson
  1. I'd say I have a pretty decent emotional strength, so it takes a bit to hurt me. My weakness though, and I give it to you for free, is insecurity.
    not uncommon, this I understand. It's my Achilles heel and yes, it's from my childhood.
  2. Take a hit at the right one and I'm a mess.
  3. The thing is, my ego sets about protecting them. Yet my ego is a hyperactive dumbass that means well but never quite hits the mark, you know? In fact, she does stuff that leaves them bare, and vulnerable.
  4. That's when I get hurt. And it's all on me.
  5. So here we are. Again. And that's ok because this thing called life is flawed af and I'm chill just figuring it all out.
  6. So, I'm sitting in bed with my cold (not by design) coffee and my dog at my feet and a DM chat with Jocelyn and I wind up balling my eyes out because very simply she offered up the advice I needed to hear.
  7. "...practice nothing but self love today..."
    sorry, the rest was too personal to share.
  8. Little did she realize how poignant this 'suggestion' was. Because I sent her back a reply that included a balling my eyes out selfie and a thank you.
  9. And you know what, fuck it, here is a sad selfie, because life is real and we need to embrace its imperfections if we're ever going to get truly real with each other.
  10. And if this list saddens you, that's ok, because the good news is, that this moment is now in the past and crying is perfectly ok. Emotions are dope af and I don't always like these ones but they balance the highs. So...
  11. ...thank you human who triggered my insecurity. Touché. Sincerely. I needed this.
  12. ...thank you insecurities for today you brought me to my knees.
  13. ...thank you Jocelyn, for you held out a non judgmental hand and helped me back to my feet
  14. ...thank you li.st, for providing a platform in which I can cathartically share my vulnerability.
  15. 💙
    [and to my usual friends who dive into my DMs to give me love in these moments, I ask you not to. I feel your love, and I thank you. I'm blessed, truly]
  16. And then sometimes, Katy Perry sets you straight. Bless. I fucking love you KP.