tfw...

[the feels when] ...a running list πŸƒπŸ»
  1. β€’
    you're almost out of your bulk tub of expensive moisturiser and start with the frugal, dainty dabs
    😩
  2. β€’
    you one handed reverse park into your narrow garage (with your giant car) on the first go like a fucking pro!
    brag, not humble.
  3. β€’
    a li.st title keeps showing up in your feed that's hitting a nerve really close to home and you wonder if it's coincidence, fate, or @list hq fucking with you!
  4. β€’
    when your coffee has gone cold and you have to actively stop yourself from crying because you know how ridiculous that is.
    (And you promptly slap yourself silly and pull your shit together. I'm g. It's fine!)
  5. β€’
    you can't give more to children in need.
    πŸ’” ...I'd give you the world if I could.
  6. β€’
    you learn how invasive Spotify is!
  7. β€’
    you can't draw a normal distribution curve to save yourself. Ugh.
    I know, right! I can be so relatable!
  8. β€’
    you retrieve a crumb of chip from your cleavage, pop it in your mouth only to realize whatever it was it wasn't chip (or edible).
    ugh. ew.
  9. β€’
    you have to take a call to discuss your shit-house internet service with your provider naked.
    I had to end my shower for that bloody call. I absolutely could not not take the call. And Taariq didn't know, so we're all good! Plus, wifi is back, so πŸ‘πŸΌ
  10. β€’
    your mum tells you she bought a lubricant gel called Happy Endings.
    Hope for my distant future! And also πŸ˜•
  11. β€’
    your dog gives you condescending side eye and you're like "fuck you bitch, I saved you"... then you feel bad and cuddle her and she proceeds to give you condescending side eye.
    Ugh. Pets. Love/hate 'em.
  12. β€’
    you keep your run playlist on because you want the euphoria to last
  13. β€’
    you realise the essay topic you chose is in fact your professor's life work.
    shit.
  14. β€’
    you hear from an awesome friend out of the blue and they put you in a fully dope mood.
  15. β€’
    you make a subtle funny in your serious cognitive essay...
    ...and you hope that your professor notices your intelligent humor and gives you an HD based on it alone!
  16. β€’
    you fall head-over-heels for lululemon's newest range of down jackets only to remember you don't get employee benefits anymore πŸ˜’
  17. β€’
    you all of a sudden have a memory-throwback to last night's dream and you're like "oh sweet jesus, that was nice".
  18. β€’
    a five ⭐️ cake recipe's first ingredient is '1x box cake mix'. Ugh.
    What the actual fuck is this world coming to??
  19. β€’
    'everyone' is going hiking on this gloriously sunny day and you're inside studying and doing essays.
    I can not afford another interrupted day, which sucks bc I'd rather go hiking over the other things that kept me from my books. Ugh.
  20. β€’
    you're looking down at your phone, accidentally land on selfie-cam* and see double-chin you staring back with resting bitch face. Yikes!
    *i accidentally swiped right into my Insta-story cam
  21. β€’
    you present physical stress symptoms and you're like, "bitch please, we don't have time for this".
    and proceed to chug relevant "bandaid" supplements to deal with it.
  22. β€’
    you crush a little over an insta account you follow, tell your list friends to follow him AND THEN HE LIKES ONE OF YOUR INSTA PICS!
    I don't blush often, but when I do! You guys!!!! OML! Hey, thebettermanproject!
  23. β€’
    your eye catches something else in the picture and you're more interested in that than the actual pic
    Love you KP, but I'm more interested in how NYT is reporting our alliance and nuclear strike threat πŸ˜•
  24. β€’
    your hairdresser asks, "can I get you another coffee? Maybe a mimosa?" πŸ˜ƒ
    Abso-fucking-lutely!
  25. β€’
    you're typing up a lab report in bed and you get a glimpse into your future and you give yourself a little smile.
    this ain't gonna be easy, but I think it'll all work out just fine.
  26. β€’
    you step outside in your off the shoulder slouch but really it's a vest and rain jacket day
  27. β€’
    a teen private school girl stands next to you at the bus stop wearing vanilla Impulse (deodorant spray) and you immediately timehop to the 90s when that girl was you.
  28. β€’
    developmental psychology and infant to teen social media use research ideas start to really excite you
    πŸ€“πŸ’› possible thesis??
  29. β€’
    your therapist (who knows your line of study) tells you she thinks you're perfectly suited to be a positive psychologist
    ☺️ highest compliment
  30. β€’
    you command in Italian at Aziz whilst watching Master of None S2
    VAI PER LEI, PRONTO!
  31. β€’
    you're so fucking mentally distracted that everything takes twice as long to do
    ...and you're super chill with that because the thoughts make you happy.
  32. β€’
    your emotional switchboard* goes into meltdown, yet there is this eerie calm that suggests that it might be ok.
    *think "Inside Out" movie.
  33. β€’
    you're dressed in black tights and loose grey cotton tee, and feel that contemporary dancer vibe and all of a sudden your entire house becomes your stage.
    😏 Any given Friyay.
  34. β€’
    you go to slide your pencil into your hair-bun, but miss and stab yourself in the side of the head!
    πŸ™πŸ€“ ouch!
  35. β€’
    the term "eyeball the data" becomes part of your regular speak.
    Who am I becoming? And why does it feel so natural?
  36. β€’
    you lay your head on the pillow at the end of an awesome day, knowing your final assignment for the semester is done and submitted!
    Ahhhh, sweet relief. I heart you immensely.
  37. β€’
    you've moved 143 lots of decent size art work with your (not so) bare biceps, in 2.5 hours, during an art auction!
    I'm so sore, guys! I'm just a little lady (who is apparently remarkably strong!) πŸ’ͺ🏼
  38. β€’
    you're balancing expensive fine art on your legs, while trying to carefully remove a piece from the collection and one starts to slip, so you tense up and get a massive ass cramp!
    again, super relatable!
  39. β€’
    your Airbnb guest is just the nicest person and you want her to stay longer
    Don't goooooo, Kylie ☺️
  40. β€’
    your face mask packaging has not a single letter of English on it and you have no idea how long to leave it on for!
    πŸ€” super, super, super hydrating!
  41. β€’
    the popcorn guy, Liam (real name), at the cinema is still in the pre-adolescent 'good boy' stage of obedience and doesn't provide you with fresh popcorn (at the cinema, for Baywatch) despite all your womanly charm.
    He was way too young, he didn't get it! Poor, Liam!
  42. β€’
    season two of Flaked is up, and you really need to study.
    😩 what did I do to deserve this?!
  43. β€’
    you post-shower-make-upping dancing in your underwear to Rihanna.
    No greater feeling as a woman, imho. 😍
  44. β€’
    you order two spring rolls and they give you (and bill you for) two servings!
    πŸ™„πŸ™ƒ I only wanted two, and got eight!!
  45. β€’
    a song gets under your skin in the best way possible.
    anything that provokes deep thought while making me body roll is finnnneeeee by me! ✌🏼😍
  46. β€’
    EXAMS!
    πŸ˜©πŸ˜¬πŸ€“πŸ™ƒ in t-2.
  47. β€’
    (you're kinda tipsy, not gonna lie) and read Alice in Wonderland to your niece in Italian.
    feeling kinda wonderful to expose my 6 yo "nipote" to her heritage and second language. "Those sounds are funny, Aunty Jess. I can't do that with my r's". "It takes practice, babydoll". 😍
  48. β€’
    you've had some late nights and broken sleep and 8pm on a Sunday seems like a completely reasonable time to go to sleep!
    Work hard, play hard βœŒπŸΌβ€οΈπŸ€“
  49. β€’
    you're face timing your bestie and her dog totally friend-blocks your conversation!
    Blockers are the worst!!
  50. β€’
    you have a moment, coffee in hand and snug in bed, to just breathe.
    Life has come at me fast this year! It's manic. And this moment right now is so very good.
  51. β€’
    the only cure is a run and house tunes up as loud as iPhones allow.
    What a fucking morning. Where's the restart button?
  52. β€’
    your tgif is red wine in hand while making an authentic fusilli alla carbonara after an emotionally taxing day
    allora, ho stancissima!
  53. β€’
    your body so desperately needs to do a yoga class.
    I need to get all bent!
  54. β€’
    you're struggling to pull yourself out of bed to get to your last exam.
    t-4.5 hours and it's all over for another semester!
  55. β€’
    iTunes is being a little bitch and not letting you access your movies.
    πŸ˜©πŸ–•πŸΌiTunes.
  56. β€’
    iTunes comes good, you're an hour into Casablanca and "iTunes Quit Unexpectedly"
    fml, πŸ˜©πŸ–•πŸΌiTunes
  57. β€’
    you remember you have a share portfolio and the balance is extremely pleasing!
    πŸ’°πŸ’°πŸ’°πŸ’°πŸ’°πŸ’°πŸ’°πŸ’°πŸ’°πŸ’°
  58. β€’
    you snap your friend an "I miss you" and she snaps back an "I miss you, I love you, on my way to the Hollywood Bowl to see Jason Mraz, wish you were here"
    me >> 😩
  59. β€’
    RENTAL SKATES!
    πŸ˜‚πŸ˜©
  60. β€’
    you go in to sign up for McCartney pre-sale tickets and see that Migos is in Perth in October...
    Focus, Jess!
  61. β€’
    YOU GET TICKETS TO SEE PAUL MCCARTNEY!
    I'm seeing a 1/4 of the Beatles live in freaking concert, yo!
  62. β€’
    the unexpected happens and fills you with contentment and joy.
    all round smiles.
  63. β€’
    you realize your barman gave you happy hour rates at midday!
    Found my old receipts when I started reading Blink again. Ha! Thanks, Jumper! (That's his name, Jumper)
  64. β€’
    you want to know your future, and yet you also just want to live it, feel it, one surprise at a time.
    I guess I just want to know I'm making the right choices. On the right track! Oy.
  65. β€’
    you're laying down watching shows and your glasses get smooshed up your face and your lashes hit the glass when you blink.
    Worst. Netflixing sans specs.
  66. β€’
    one of your Airbnb guests sign off on their new booking request as "Love, ....."
    πŸ€”πŸ™ƒ well, ok then!
  67. β€’
    you're at your local bar getting a takeaway coffee, and you spot the whiskies (and you start contemplating just a dram of that Japanese one)
    Alas. Coffee sans dram.
  68. β€’
    you're so blissed out by the hour you spent in the sauna that an afternoon nap sounds like heaven.
    maybe I just need more water.
  69. β€’
    you wake up and for a split second wonder if it's Saturday or Friday. *dives back under the covers*
    This is what it's like when you mentally live across time zones.
  70. β€’
    you can start your chores from bed
    woken by a text from my Airbnb guest saying thank you before 7am on a Sunday. Not so bad.
  71. β€’
    you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror as you're pulling your jeans up and think that you've got a suburban version of 90s Cindy Crawford going on.
    Like, Cindy-esque but wayyyy dialed back. You know? And you're like, "I'll take it!"
  72. β€’
    you wake up cheeky af so you channel all that energy into listening to remixes of swish swish bish on loop in bed!
    dance party all up in this bizzle, yo!
  73. β€’
    jessie comes before jessica in your autocorrect. OFFENSIVE!
    Sometimes I get the feel that my autocorrect hates me.
  74. β€’
    you go from joyous high, to dumbassery, to clusterfuck of bullshit, to emotional rollercoaster, to live music that soothes the soul and gets you back to your happiness baseline.
    What a day! Ending on a high.
  75. β€’
    a li.ster makes your day by asking questions that turn out to be kinda compliments!
    ☺️
  76. β€’
    Chance's 'Blessings' makes you smile super wide and fills your soul with joy
    πŸ™ŒπŸΌβ™₯️✨
  77. β€’
    you think, "just one more episode".
    looks like I'm about to spend the weekend with some handmaids. #praisebe
  78. β€’
    you wake up and your neck and shoulders are out of whack due to your incredibly lazy all day binging position yesterday.
    time for some fresh air and a stretch!
  79. β€’
    you want coffee and you don't want to get out of bed to get said coffee.
    I absolutely need that coffee alarm clock.
  80. β€’
    you finish the most unfocused (yoga) flow of your life and feel like croissants with @Lisa_Fav afterwards.
    ...and I still haven't had that coffee yet! πŸ™ƒ
  81. β€’
    your algorithms are all outta whack!
    @listbot, we need to talk! Also, your friend-bots over at IG and Twitter need a talking to too.
  82. β€’
    your Instagram 'suggested' list confuses the bejeezus out of you.
    Oh hey there sister-in-law who's blocked me! Wtf? Can someone please explain to me β€” better than the explanations via google β€” how on earth that algorithm works??
  83. β€’
    you tuck your baby* sister into bed ironically and then it turns into a really sweet moment.
    *baby 34 yo sister, who needed the nurturing and love of her older sister.
  84. β€’
    a bad hair day is fixed with a simple pony tail.
    πŸ‘±πŸΌβ€β™€οΈβœ¨
  85. β€’
    anger and despair collide and the tears flow endlessly.
    life isn't always grand, yet, this too will pass (again).
  86. β€’
    your sweat starts to bead on your warming skin.
    those sweaty-ass (literally!) sauna feels!
  87. β€’
    something makes you both smile wide and shake your head at its sheer boldness.
    Oh my! What a week it's been.
  88. β€’
    you spin your volume as high as it'll go just to drown your thoughts.
  89. β€’
    you have to painstakingly update all your apps via your mac, delete them from your phone and then 're-purchase' them all, just so you can update the new versions!
    ...because you're now using a different Apple ID. Ugh! Can anyone remember my password for....?!
  90. β€’
    you end your night on a happiness high.
    S/O to my girlfriends x
  91. β€’
    you let go.
  92. β€’
    you have a vice in your hand, a vice in your thoughts and a vi.. necessity in your belly.
    going to bed calm and grateful tonight.
  93. β€’
    the topic of conversation between 8 - 10am is suicide and zest for life. #psychlife
    8am Adult Psychopathology Labs were an interesting choice on my behalf, in hindsight! πŸ€”
  94. β€’
    you say something incredibly dorky and you're both mildly embarrassed and also offended it went unnoticed.
    πŸ™ˆπŸ˜…
  95. β€’
    you're sitting at your desk about to study and you're like, "ok, where are all my distractions at?"
    ...and I say 'distractions' affectionately.
  96. β€’
    you try to focus on your lecture but pervasive thoughts derail your concentration no matter how hard you try 😫
    why oh why did I speak to my mum and sister before class?? Ugh.
  97. β€’
    food brings you absolute joy.
    especially when it's food you made!
  98. β€’
    you hop into bed and relax into your brand new, freshly laundered white bed linen.
    one for the bliss diaries 😍