GROWING UP WITH A SINGLE MOM
- •Usually only referring to your mom in conversations about parents, leading people to ask "You talk about your mom so much, what about your dad?"
- •Having to justify you mom's single-momness so people don't pity you or consider your life somehow damaged.For me, this is explaining that my dad died when I was four. For others, it may be lauding the strength of your mother who decided or had to do it alone, etc. There's always some sort of follow-up
- •Everyone says you look alike, even when you don't.I don't really look like my mom or my dad! But people think we look alike because we have the same way of moving, speaking, same mannerisms, etc.
- •Other people's parental relationships seem strange to you.For example, when people say they're "not close" with a parent, it seems bizarre. For me, if I wasn't close with my mom, I would be without a whole lifeline!
- •Along with that, when people don't "know" things about their parents - that's weird AF.I've met kids who didn't know about their parents' financial situation, which is crazy to me! My mom had to keep me in the loop about our money situation to avoid fighting (I.e. If I couldn't go to the movies that week, I knew she wasn't being unreasonable) and I always know whether she is in a good spot or a tight one.
- •Your mom is your best friend!I call my mom as often as I can and tell her 99% of the things going on in my life (for her sake, I leave out sexual details ofc). She is my #1 confidant and she knows it.
- •You didn't take too kindly to her boyfriends (and now feel a little guilty about it)My mom dated a guy for a while and I hated him! If he picked me up from school, I would walk backwards out of the school not to look at him. I feel bad about it now, but ultimately they didn't work out for reasons other than my dislike.
- •You have fears other kids your age don't have.I'm 21 and my mom is 62. Earlier this year, she slipped and fell down the steps and hurt her tailbone - she was fine, but it could have been bad! It made me really afraid about what it would mean for something to happen to her. I would carry the ultimate responsibility for making sure she was ok - or in the worst case, making funeral arrangements. That thought is terrifying.
- •Sometimes, the parent/friend line seems blurry...Your fights might be a little more intense than other parents and kids, but you always make up because you only have each other!
- •...but she's still your mom.My mom and I are close and know each other's personalities entirely. Sometimes people think this means she's "not a normal mom" or say that she's more of a friend. Yeah, we are a little on the "Gilmore Girls" side - but she's still my mom and my main authority!
- •You recognize it would have been easier if you had a standard, nuclear family...My dad's death was obviously NOT a part of my mom's plan for raising me - and it definitely made things harder! No question.
- •...but you wouldn't trade your life for anything!We have our own, special relationship - and I can't imagine what that would be like if everything didn't happen exactly the way it did. I value my mom and our relationship and wouldn't have anything different!