⚜HALLMARKS OF MY MOM'S BRAND⚜

  1. Chipotle
  2. Cat-cheezburger memes
  3. Live-emailing me the movies she's watching
    My mom doesn't text or tweet.
  4. Emails like this:
  5. Taking Ambien and getting really loopy:
  6. Exclaiming "I'm going to review it on Amazon!!" about any product she loves or hates
  7. Claiming she is one of Amazon's top reviewers and then clarifying that she is in the top 500,000.
  8. Using the catchphrase "Satan used it like a puppet"
  9. Face peels
  10. Making me coffee in bed whenever I come home bc she loves me and is the best mom ever.