THINGS I'VE DONE BECAUSE I'M PETTY

  1. Turned on read receipts
    If I'm actively ignoring you, you should at least know.
  2. Put every separate text convo that one particular person is in on Do Not Disturb
    Including their individual message! No thanks.
  3. Opened up the dishwasher and wrote "DIRTY" on the inside with a marker
    Maybe then they'll put the dishes in the wash and not pile them in the sink 🙃
  4. No posted "Happy Birthday" on a Facebook wall
    They probably didn't notice, but I noticed.
  5. Bootycalled a fuckboy's roommate
    Roommate is also a total fuckboy, but that's not the point.