1. I met Bono and made small talk about a mutual friend of ours. This upset him greatly, and he accused me of using others to bother celebrities.
  2. My friend and I were backstage at Fashion Week, and Beyoncé came over to talk to us. My friend asked her about the TV show Lost, and I was so embarrassed. Turns out, Beyoncé loves Lost! I haven't watched it though, so I'm an awkward third wheel to their conversation.
  3. I'm waitressing on a terrace when I see a family friend seated across the way with none other than Oprah Winfrey. I go over to say hello and hopefully meet Oprah, and I greet the family friend. This is a grave transgression: always address Oprah first. Oprah hates me automatically, refuses to speak to me, and I have to leave.
  4. Martin Freeman sex dream but he kept on his wool sweater.