What to pack before heading out for errands with kids

A snarky (sarcastic) guide to taking kids out in public
  1. Zip ties! They are very useful for fixing pants with missing buttons.....and attaching your kids to the grocery cart so they don't take off while you pick out your produce! (Don't forget the scissors lol)#lockemdown
  2. Sarcasm! Lots of lots of sarcasm! For all those people who ask...."Are they all yours?" "Don't you have a babysitter?" Or tell you..."wow you have your hands full"! "Do you know what birth control is?" "Why are they all with you in the ladies bathroom...two of them are boys!" #shhhhjustshhh
    My response....No, I borrowed 4 kids to just annoy people in the department store. Who needs a sitter when I can take 4 kids in the grocery store! Feel free to help if my hands are so full! I think they told me about birth control in the 4th grade! How else should I get to use the bathroom? Take them all into the men's room? Sheesh!
  3. Your money tree! These jokers are hungry all the time. Maybe if I give them tin cans and smudge dirt on their faces...people might feel bad and give them money or food! That's it! Bring tin cans! #eatingmeoutofthehouse
  4. Duct tape! Not just the boring gray duct tape...that funky designed "fun" duct tape kids play with! Yeah!...so when it's across their mouths...you can just say "oh these kids are just playing with their duct tape!" Bwahaha. #silence
  5. Hard candy or chewing gum for yourself....so when you realize you really shouldn't reply with that snarky response....you can crunch or chew. #dontembarassyourself
  6. Coffee....lots and lots of coffee! Cause any mom can handle chaos with coffee! Am I right? Forget wifi in the cars! Put a keurig in mine please! I'll happily pack my cream and sugar for those times going inside a Starbucks with 4 children is not fathomable! #justsayin #keepingitreal