Top 8 Nights of Channukah

The holiday spirit has woken from its year-long sleep, ready to... I don't know, it's a dumb metaphor and I can't think of where to go from here. I'm Jewish, lets get this over wth.
  1. 1.
    First Night
    Starting it off with a bang! (Not really, unless you light the Channukiah with gasoline/gunpowder)
  2. 2.
    Fourth Night
    Almost starting to use the second side of the Channukiah is pretty crazy stuff, definitely deserves the #2 spot.
  3. 3.
    Second Night
    The joy still rings strong, just not as much as night #1 (but not if you used the aforementioned gasoline/gunpowder, as you would be dead and/or probably quite sad).
  4. 4.
    Seventh Night
    The anticipation for the final night is great, but the sorrow at the holiday being almost over cancels it out, putting right in the middle. Truly the "shamash" of the 8 nights of Channukah.
  5. 5.
    Sixth Night
    No one cares about this night. Why have it? Who ever goes, "Golly gee whiz, I sure do love he sixth night of Channukah!" NO ONE, that's who. Have fun being in the bottom half, night #6.
  6. 6.
    Third Night
    Nothing really happens on this night, the one before the fourth and after the second. That's all I got. No gut-busting humour for you this time, folks.
  7. 7.
    Fifth Night
    When the holiday starts to wind down. All you can think about is that Hannukah Harry still hasn't come and visited your house. Why, Hannukah Harry? Why do you hate me so? IS MY TROUBLED CHILDHOOD NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU? MUST YOU SPITE ME EVEN NOW?
  8. 8.
    Eighth Night
    The end. The finale. The conclusion. The Ragnarok of winter. Nothing more can be said, but for the sadness coursing through me as I even think about this unhappiness-causing eve.
  9. 9.
    The birth of Santa Claus is way overrated.