IT'S CHRISTMAS CATALOG TIME!

AKA Useless Gifts to Give When You Run Out of Ideas
  1. Yeah, this is real safe.
    Lose this bad boy and someone has the keys to your whole existence!
  2. Really? What's the market for this?
    Are there a lot of matryoshka collectors who love Star Wars? Or Star Wars geeks who are into nesting dolls?
  3. Well, can it?
    I might need to buy this book cuz now I'm curious.
  4. Sexist much?
    Boys design fashion, too!
  5. No.
  6. Or, how to break both your ankles at once.
    I'd forget my feet were in this and launch myself off the couch SO FAST. (Also, the inset pic looks like someone on the toilet.)
  7. Fun for the whole family!
    No.
  8. Again with the poop?
    No.
  9. For hipster pets!
  10. Redneck plunger.
    I just...no.
  11. Whatever happened to pillows and blankets and overturned chairs?
    Now kids rely on pre-purchased gender-appropriate kits?! So lazy!
  12. How much of a lush are you if you need to carry wine in your PURSE?!