AKA Useless Gifts to Give When You Run Out of Ideas
  1. Yeah, this is real safe.
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    Lose this bad boy and someone has the keys to your whole existence!
  2. Really? What's the market for this?
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    Are there a lot of matryoshka collectors who love Star Wars? Or Star Wars geeks who are into nesting dolls?
  3. Well, can it?
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    I might need to buy this book cuz now I'm curious.
  4. Sexist much?
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    Boys design fashion, too!
  5. No.
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  6. Or, how to break both your ankles at once.
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    I'd forget my feet were in this and launch myself off the couch SO FAST. (Also, the inset pic looks like someone on the toilet.)
  7. Fun for the whole family!
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    No.
  8. Again with the poop?
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    No.
  9. For hipster pets!
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  10. Redneck plunger.
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    I just...no.
  11. Whatever happened to pillows and blankets and overturned chairs?
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    Now kids rely on pre-purchased gender-appropriate kits?! So lazy!
  12. How much of a lush are you if you need to carry wine in your PURSE?!
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