WHY I HATE CLOWNS

All this damn clown talk is triggering long-supressed memories. I think I will share them in an attempt to purge them from my brain.
  1. Years ago, we lived in a small town, and Dad was pastor at a small church.
  2. There was a family there that had like nine kids, all grown by the time we got there.
  3. The matriarch of the family happened to have a Halloween birthday.
  4. To celebrate, the whole extended family would get together for a bonfire cookout.
    Roasted wieners, marshmallows, the whole shebang. And naturally, the pastor and his family were always included. Small town tradition.
  5. Along with the birthday festivities, they liked to have some Halloween fun, too.
  6. All the men in the family would dress up in tattered clothes and put freaky masks on.
  7. They would then go after the kids.
  8. They'd run around chasing and scaring us, then sneak up behind us, grab us and drag us into the woods.
  9. They'd hold us there for a few minutes while we freaked out, then let us run back to the bonfire.
    I knew all of them. The "fun" involved figuring out who was who. I felt safer somehow if I knew who it was behind the mask.
  10. BUT
  11. After grabbing all us kids at least once, they'd swap clothes and masks and get us again.
  12. So even if you had figured out it was Tim behind the Swamp Thing mask (for example), you'd get terrified all over again because HOLY SHIT THATS NOT TIM!
  13. So, long story short, that's why I hate clowns and will be SO GLAD when this stupid clown meme shit is over with. 😠