Not that people recognize that it's a joke....
  1. "Would you like some cheese to go with your omelette?" "No thanks, I'm vegan, so no cheese for me!"
  2. *flexes pathetically skinny arm* "Welcome to the gun show!!"
  3. "What program are you in?" "Contemporary dance! .......jk, chemical engineering."
  4. *Gets dirty looks from being ridiculously late* "Omg am I late?!!"