THINGS JAPS WOULD SAY

  1. Want a lift to Aspen? We're flying Air Goldberg
  2. OMG it's 70% off?! That's, like, free!
  3. I'm so "shtressed" touring all these summer camps for next year
  4. I gave my last blowjob after the rehearsal dinner
  5. Book the baby nurse for a year, minimum