they don't care what you think.
  1. "who is your celebrity crush?"
    I know it's tempting to come in SO HOT on this one like "I've been waiting for someone to ask me this for SOOOO LONG" cause honestly, every day I hope someone asks me this but in this situation-they don't care. they're not asking to hear your answer, they want to know who your hot friend wants to do.
  2. "who wants to go to the bar and get shots?"
    don't be the girl that responds first. this person does not want to take a shot with you, they want to take a shot with your friend and honestly you shouldn't be taking a shot right now cause you're already a little too drunk.
  3. "if you could take a vacation anywhere, where would you go?"
    it is so neat that you want to go to this tiny island in thailand that is so epic but also a "locals secret" (you're so cool) but do you want to know what the guy who asked this question doesn't care about? That YOU want to go there. They want to know where your friend wants to go so they can say that they miraculously also want to go to that S A M E P L A C E and your friend could maybe sort of want to go with them one day. bottom line: they don't care where you want to go.
  4. "what TV shows are you into right now?"
    listen, I think we can all agree that the entire Bravo lineup (especially below deck) is top notch and I agree with you that everyone should know how good they are. I want to tell everyone how rad @andycohen is too but do you know who doesn't want to know about your bravo shows? the dude who is asking the question. they want to know what shows your friend likes so they can netflix and chill with them without you.
  5. "if you could start over and choose any career, what would you choose?"
    tiffany, I think it is so interesting that you have a secret desire to become an indie hipster florist but that you never pursued it because your judging parents make you major in finance. that must be so frustrating for you. do you know what's frustrating for the person who asked the question? they want to know what career is YOUR FRIEND'S dream career because they are interested in them, not you (tbh though they don't care what their dream career is either but they wanna seem like they care)
  6. "where are we going next?"
    I think you're getting the hint by now, but guess what? this dude does NOT care if you go to the next bar with them. they sincerely are really hoping (maybe even praying or manifesting) that you, drunk girl, are going home so they can have some alone time with your endearing friend. lock it up and call your uber.