IN THE LAND OF THE BLIND, THE ONE-EYED MAN...

  1. Is king.
  2. Is tired of being designated driver.
  3. Rarely wears pants.
  4. Steals. A lot.
  5. Claims his others senses are heightened. By 50%.
  6. Never loses at darts.
  7. Often says, "Hey, look at this!" And laughs maniacally.
  8. Watches you undress.
  9. Is going bald. (But totally denies it. )
  10. Lies about his age.