Things You Can Never Truly Know Before You Get a Puppy

  1. Just how cute this thing is going to be
    Even if you think you know, you don't. It's a cute thing that does a million other cute things a day. There is so much cute it's almost painful
  2. How much time you will spend standing outside hoping it will do a wee
  3. How much time you will spend standing outside staring at it and hoping it will poo
  4. How intently you will watch it as it wees and poos
  5. How much you will talk about its wee and poo with family members
  6. How much you will celebrate when it wees and poos outside
    Seriously. I've seen goals in the last minutes of football matches that don't get this much celebration
  7. How much wee and poo you will clear up
  8. How much you, your house and the puppy itself will smell of wee
  9. How little attention you will pay to books, TV or chores now you have a tiny puppy to play with and/or stare at
  10. How frustrated you will get that the puppy never looks quite as cute in photos as it does in real life
    I JUST WANT TO INSTAGRAM YOU
  11. How you will lose interest in every topic of conversation that isn't focused on the puppy
  12. How quickly you will go from "NO DON'T CHEW THAT IT'S MY THIRD BEST T-SHIRT" to "Sure, chew my iPad, whatever"
  13. How hot the belly of a tiny puppy can get
  14. How much fun you can get from flicking an empty bottle around the floor for it to chase
  15. How much you can love something so tiny and stupid