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Newborns need stuff, apparently.
- •The Fisher-Price Rock 'N Play sleeperThe name is misleading...play does not happen here, but blessed sleep does. It's basically a vibrating hammock for infants...and a gift sent from the angles.
- •The Boppy nursing pillowBreastfeeding feels awkward enough at first...this at least makes it slightly more comfortable.
- •Kindred Bravely Ultra Soft Nursing Pajamas"Ultra soft" is damn right. These PJs make those 2:30 AM feedings more streamlined, and all other times feel more luxurious. Living in the hot desert, I opt to only wear the top and pair it with other sleep shorts I have. Available through Amazon.
- •Rage farts
- •Thrash wiggles
- •Butt burps
I need thicker windows...
- •Fucking birds
- •Die birds. All birds should die.
- •Fucking birds I hate you diiiiiie
As a first-time mom, these are things that have prompted me to give myself a pat on the back.
- •During the first month, every single time I was able to get him to fall asleep at night.
- •When I breastfed him while sitting in the car in a parking lot.
- •When I successfully bounce back and forth between making dinner in the kitchen and taking care of The Boy in the other room.Related: that I have always remembered to turn off the stove if I think it may take a while to pacify him.
- •No pants? No problem.
- •People talk about how your chunky thighs are gloriously beautiful and perfect.
- •It's acceptable to scream if you're hungry, tired, too hot, too cold, etc....and people immediately try to fulfill your needs.
- •The right to feel smug.
- •It starts the morning off with a confidence boost.
- •I'll feel fantastic after working out (and sometimes like dying but in a nice, accomplished way.)