Reasons life is better as a baby

  1. No pants? No problem.
  2. People talk about how your chunky thighs are gloriously beautiful and perfect.
  3. It's acceptable to scream if you're hungry, tired, too hot, too cold, etc.
    ...and people immediately try to fulfill your needs.
  4. Family members travel to you; it's not expected that you go to them.
  5. It's considered adorable when you fart.
  6. Naps. Whenever, wherever.
  7. People get excited when you sleep a lot.
  8. Gaining weight is celebrated.
  9. Vibrating hammock.
    Behold: The Fisher-Price Rock 'n Play sleeper