TEXTS FROM DRESSING ROOMS

If we're close, I've texted you photos and asked you to help corroborate, dissuade me, persuade me, or generally agonize over whether I should get something. If not, we're about to get a lot closer
  1. Is this fancy enough for a black tie wedding? I need you to say yes because IT HAS POCKETS.
  2. Do I look artsy and avante garde enough for ARTOPIA? Can you tell it's too big and I'd have to pin it?
  3. Alternately, I could be like edgy-mod-leather girl at ARTOPIA, right? Right??
  4. SCRATCH THAT - what if I went vintage formal, like careless vintage formal? I would look like Megan Draper rolling up to ARTOPIA! Yes or no and why?
  5. WAIT - maybe I'm thinking too bright and edgy. What about this little black Michael Kors dress? Too boring, right?
    I went with this and was so at ease in my boringness.
  6. Is this too much for our contrived "party" photoshoot? Also, what's a girl with defined hips and thighs to do with those LINES?! Will Spanx fix this?
    Spanx did fix this. 🙌🏼
  7. Are these artfully frayed but well-fitting enough to be the boyfriend jeans of my dreams? And are they worth $80?
    I didn't get these and I think about them weekly.
  8. Is anyone gonna talk me out of buying this yellow faux leather jacket? SPEAK NOW OR FOREVER HOLD YOUR PEACE.
    It was a group text and no one talked me out of it. Partly because I had no service in that dressing room. I took their silence as permission.