or pulled off an international bank heist, whichever happens first
  1. A Chauffeur
    I know what it looks like for my first choice to be basically buying a human, but I'm not a great driver, it's really a gift for the people who drive around me, and this is definitely not going to be the last human service on this list...
  2. An On Call Massage Therapist
    I don't need to explain this one.
  3. An On Call Hair-washer
    Who doesn't love the gentle caress of a stranger massaging shampoo into their hair? As a child I got hair cuts I didn't want very much, just to have the stylist rinse my hair with warm water, and massage my scalp while telling me how beautiful my natural hair color was. If I won the lottery, I'd set up that experience at least weekly.
  4. A pair of cute black bootlets
    it's so hard to find a pair I like that wouldn't cost a fourth of lottery winnings.