What You'd Do With/where You'd Take Amy and Tina if They Visited Jville for a Weekend--go!

I have to start by saying I was so nervous to make my first list because I wanted it to be at least somewhat decent, so this is perfect! Additionally, I now realize I put way too much thought into caring about my first list. Anyway...
  1. First, I'd want to make them think I'm smart and interesting and do more with my time than just obsess over them, so I'd sign us up for an afternoon tour of the Underground Railroad houses around town. Here we will all pretend to know more about Harriet Tubman than we actually do.
  2. Next I would drive them down Morton to show them just how many gas stations one small town really needs. Obviously I would use this time to brag about Cruise Night as well.
  3. By this point they're probably hungry/bored, so it's time to do the only thing there is to do in Jacksonville--drink! For our first stop I would take them to Los Rancheros for Central Illinois' strongest margaritas.
  4. After that we'll head out for a night on the town. We'll hit up the usual hot spots like Don's & Doc's and if the night ends up taking a turn I'll show them the wonders of going to The Depot late on a Saturday night.
  5. Then the real dilemma--Norma's or BJ's? We decide to make a compromise. BJ's for late night drunk food, and Norma's for hungover breakfast food. This is mainly because Norma's is slightly cleaner and Tina & Amy could be charmed by the old-school style of only being able to pay by cash.
  6. By this time, they're undoubtedly ready to leave, but it's opening weekend, so I convince them to go see Sisters with me while I sit in between them and we all hold hands and my wildest dreams come true. They are freaked out and wonder what they got themselves into.
  7. Once that's over, we say our goodbyes and I invite them to come back for New Years Day in Jville. They don't quite understand the concept of partying all day after partying all night and start to wonder if maybe our town has a drinking problem. Anyway, they say they'll try it out, but only because they want more popcorn from Don's. The End.
  8. P.S. Sorry this is more of a short story/dream sequence than a list.