THINGS MY DENTIST HAS SAID TO ME

My dentist is in my phone book as DO NOT ANSWER. She's so goddamn clingy.
  1. How did you break your tooth this time?
  2. What does 'a lot of candy' mean?
  3. Really, you can still feel this?
  4. Wait, you don't have dental insurance?
  5. Here, take a complimentary tote bag
  6. I'm giving you extra floss, PLEASE use it this time
  7. There's no more room for fillings on that tooth
  8. Chew gum after every meal
  9. You have 8 cavities
  10. Get this prescription filled right away!
  11. You have such a pretty smile
  12. I called your pharmacy, you didn't fill the prescription!
  13. You're not going to like it when you come back here and I tell you that you need a root canal
  14. Check out my son's band on YouTube, they're gonna be big someday