THINGS MY DENTIST HAS SAID TO ME
My dentist is in my phone book as DO NOT ANSWER. She's so goddamn clingy.
- •How did you break your tooth this time?
- •What does 'a lot of candy' mean?
- •Really, you can still feel this?
- •Wait, you don't have dental insurance?
- •Here, take a complimentary tote bag
- •I'm giving you extra floss, PLEASE use it this time
- •There's no more room for fillings on that tooth
- •Chew gum after every meal
- •You have 8 cavities
- •Get this prescription filled right away!
- •You have such a pretty smile
- •I called your pharmacy, you didn't fill the prescription!
- •You're not going to like it when you come back here and I tell you that you need a root canal
- •Check out my son's band on YouTube, they're gonna be big someday