COUPONS I WISH I HAD

  1. 95% off
    Can't be too greedy
  2. Buy 1 get 0 free
    A letdown coupon. One which has no value.
  3. A coupon that has a money value more than $0.01
    Don't you hate when the fine print says that? I do.
  4. Get out of jail free card
    Duh but I would limit my committed crimes to misdemeanors. Don't worry public, I'm not too devious.