The results are in
  1. 5. Max
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    Solid goat, second year working with us. Good at jumping up on ring curb. Would be ranked higher but shits every time he gets in the ring. Cracks the top five based on how talkative he is.
  2. 4. Noah
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    "The homeless horse." Miniature horse that was given to us by a St. Louis homeless man years ago after they'd been living on the streets together for ten years. Playing himself in this year's show, while wearing a funny hat.
  3. 3. John Dos Passos
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    Having a great rookie season. Most improved cast member over the course of the season. Barely did anything two weeks ago except crow in the mornings from his cage next to Adam's trailer. Then Adam started waking up with him and training him. Now his skills are heavily featured late in the show.
  4. 2. Alex
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    Total sweetheart. Eats cardboard.
  5. 1. El Niño
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    A lovely donkey who plays two roles in the show. He's a hit both in the ring and backstage. Pauline, the French trampoline acrobat, is particularly enamored. She reads to him in French before shows and even traveled to the lot on her day off to spend time with him.