AUTOMATIC LEFT SWIPE BEHAVIOR

I don't make the rules about Tinder, except actually I do and I'm writing them here
  1. Calls himself "a young professional"
    Read: takes himself sososo seriously, thinks his career is actually going somewhere BUT probably hates his job and himself and has no viable skills, is maybe a genuine psycho
  2. Calls himself "masculine"
    Masculinity doesn't exist it is nothing it means nothing and you hate yourself
  3. Calls himself "educated"
    If you have to say you're "educated" / "professional" / masculine," then you are DEFINITELY none of these things
  4. Describes the type of guy he wants, especially re: prospective date's body or ETHNICITY oh my god
    You can't control me like that and also you should be alone forever and I'm rooting against you procreating
  5. Upon matching, calls me "bro" or "dude" or "man"
    1) You don't know me like that and 2) are you just pretending that your homosexuality is just "bros bein guys bein dudes" wearing backwards caps and just chillin, man? Because I don't really know that that's how that works for me??
  6. Has my brother's name / my dad's name
    This might not be fair, but... PS There are too many Jons to make that an automatic left swipe though
  7. Has only selfies in his pictures
    Psychopathic narcissism
  8. He has a car in his photos WITHOUT a person
    No
  9. Has a GUN in any picture
    This is greater Boston in 2015 oh my god
  10. Military mentions in bio, majority pictures in uniform
    Nope. Can't do it.
    Suggested by   @ohlauren