1. Have more than one kid (so they can talk shit about you when you get old and weird)
  2. Don't be afraid to let 'em cry. Even while sprawled on the middle of the sidewalk. Do not give in.
  3. Do NOT talk to them when they're finally playing alone in the corner--go paint your nail or read a magazine.
  4. But don't paint your nails in front of them unless you're willing to paint their nails--which is virtually impossible because they're the size of a sequin and they definitely will get that shit all over your furniture-- of course they cant stand there and let them dry.
  5. Which begs the question--how young is too young to get your kid a Gel manicure?
  6. Instead of counting to three to get them to do something "or else", count down to zero. That's more finite.
    Suggested by @mallofamanda