THAT TIME IKE WENT FROM 0 TO DRAKE IN 60 SECONDS

Embarrassing tales of an inebriated husband....is this cruel since he's not on list app? Fuck it. He should've known better.
  1. SF Thanksgiving 2008
    Puked out the passenger window all the way across the Bay Bridge
  2. Our wedding Sauvie Island 2009
    Remaining sober most of the night to deal with logistics. Finally cut loose around 2am -- at 3am as we're walking into the hotel lobby he tried to head for the lounge to "kick it with his dawgs"
  3. Neil and Amanda's wedding 2012
    Took off running half way through the dance party. We found him a whole 1 block away passed out after vomiting sitting on the curb--- illuminated by a giant lamp store
  4. Con Bro Chill concert 2013
    Got kicked out of his (much) younger cousin's show for getting pissed that the bartender (the bar closed, she was just doing her job). He was dragged outside, threatened to come back and vandalize the venue--when I said "c'mon Ike" he yelled "Great! Now they know my name dipshit". I was 8 months pregnant.
  5. Gabe and Michelle's wedding Santa Teresa 2015
    Shyly sat in his seat until the white wine hit a tipping point. Proceeded to reenact various R&B and Hip-Hop video routines (hence the Drake reference). Blowing everyone's mind (at or with--we wont ever know). When wife tried to cut him offhe claimed sobriety and "one more". Bartender then handed him a bottle to chug.....you know how this ends.
  6. 40th birthday 2015
    This hasn't happened yet--I've just learned from the past