CELEBRATE 4/20 BY HAVING A DRUG-INDUCED PSYCHOTIC BREAKDOWN IN ANY ONE OF OUR FINE STORES

  1. We know that you godless hippies LOVE to smoke reefer. But you know what will send you on a real "trip?"
  2. Getting stoned off your tits and wandering through a Jo-Ann Fabrics.
  3. Run your hands through our fantastic selection of velvet.
  4. Snuggle up close with a fully-licensed Pillow Pet.
  5. Scream "I am the one true king, Abraham Tittyfucking Lincoln" at a bewildered, elderly crowd.
  6. Threaten to castrate a friendly security guard with a painted trowel.
  7. Paint a whole BUNCH of upsetting images on the floor with our wide variety of acrylic paints.
  8. Completely forget your own sense of self and collapse in a shivering, terrified heap by our incredibly patient cashiers.
  9. Cause a fucking ruckus. Because you can.
  10. 30% off purchase if you're clearly stoned. Today only at Jo-Ann Fabrics.