1. Hey, look, some yarn!
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  2. What a great selection of yarn we have.
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  3. Don't like yarn? Take a ride on the Ol' fuck train.
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  4. We're Jo-Ann Fuckin' Fabric. We don't need your pity.
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  5. So come buy some yarn if you're not a total dildo.
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  6. Available at all Jo-Ann locations.