COURSES OFFERED AT OUR FOR-PROFIT COLLEGE, "UNIVERSITY OF YARN"

  1. Got a boner for education?
  2. Well, thanks to the good people at Capella Education, Jo-Ann Fabrics is excited to announce our new for-profit college, "The University of Yarn."
  3. We're about to drop a load of hot knowledge all over your FACE. Classes include:
  4. Quilting 101: FUCKING QUILT
  5. Sewing a Limb Back On for Fun and Profit
  6. Cocaine Studies: From Tony Montana to Rick Ross
  7. Theoretical Putting Laxatives in Cakes
  8. Introduction to Buttons
  9. History of Hating Your Children
  10. Quilting 201: FUCKING QUILT HARDER, ASSHOLE
  11. Symposium on Bedazzled Jean Jackets For Truckstop Hookers
  12. How To Get Divorced: A Seminar
  13. Quilting 301: THAT'S ENOUGH FUCKING QUILTING FOR NOW, FUCKFACE
  14. 50% off tuition if you pay using a federal Pell grant. Only at The University of Yarn.