1. Got a boner for education?
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  2. Well, thanks to the good people at Capella Education, Jo-Ann Fabrics is excited to announce our new for-profit college, "The University of Yarn."
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  3. We're about to drop a load of hot knowledge all over your FACE. Classes include:
  4. Quilting 101: FUCKING QUILT
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  5. Sewing a Limb Back On for Fun and Profit
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  6. Cocaine Studies: From Tony Montana to Rick Ross
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  7. Theoretical Putting Laxatives in Cakes
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  8. Introduction to Buttons
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  9. History of Hating Your Children
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  10. Quilting 201: FUCKING QUILT HARDER, ASSHOLE
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  11. Symposium on Bedazzled Jean Jackets For Truckstop Hookers
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  12. How To Get Divorced: A Seminar
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  13. Quilting 301: THAT'S ENOUGH FUCKING QUILTING FOR NOW, FUCKFACE
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  14. 50% off tuition if you pay using a federal Pell grant. Only at The University of Yarn.
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