HATE YOUR KIDS? TEACH THOSE LITTLE BASTARDS A LESSON BY SENDING THEM TO A "KIDS SEWING 101" DAY CAMP

  1. Your kids are assholes. It's cool. Most are.
  2. Want to get back at little Aiden for calling you a "Jizzy McJizzface" in front of all of your friends at the Rotary Club?
  3. Then send his ass to our "Kids Sewing Day Camp," available every 2nd Saturday at Jo-Ann stores nationwide.
  4. Through a scientifically proven program of screaming and name-calling, our crack team of counsellors will ensure your precious angel is too broken down to mouth off in front of your business colleagues.
  5. They'll learn important skills, like basic haberdashery and how to pour a proper scotch.
  6. We promise that when you pick them up at the end of the day, their spirits will be irrevocably broken.
  7. Children's day camps 60% off with promo code "I Can't Fucking Take It Any More!" In-store only.