This is what happens when YOU stick US with your hyperactive shit machines while you drink a bottle of red wine and rub one out in the bathtub. But at least we thought those little fuckers how to needlepoint.
  1. Tyler, age 11, Seattle
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  2. Kimberly, age 8, Oklahoma City
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  3. Aiden, age 10, Muncie
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  4. Günter, age 9, Tampa Bay
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  5. Brooklyn, age 9, Staten Island
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  6. Todd, age 9, Denver
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  7. Julia, age 11, Tucson
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  8. Tanya, age 8, Philadelphia
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  9. 50% off Kraft Kamp if your kid isn't a complete fucking sociopath. In-store only.
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