1. It's summertime, so you know you can count on three things:
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  2. Fireworks accidents
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  3. Boatloads of dong
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  4. And 40 GOD DAMNED PERCENT OFF THE GREATEST SELECTION OF PAPERCRAFTS IN THE ENTIRE WESTERN HEMISPHERE.
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  5. That's right, chucklefucks. Ol' Jo-Ann Fabrics is rolling out the big, papery guns.
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  6. We're offering such deep discounts on papercrafting materials that WE'RE GOING TO LOSE MONEY THIS QUARTER.
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  7. But guess what?
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  8. Local
  9. See, this ain't our first rodeo.
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  10. We know we can give it away for practically free up front, 'cause we're gonna get that real money on the comeback.
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  11. Once you get a taste of baller fucking papercrafting THIS amazing, there's no going back.
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  12. So kiss goodbye to Hobby Lobby.
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  13. And let Michaels know to choke on a fat one.
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  14. Because you're part of the Jo-Ann Fabrics family now.
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  15. 40% off all papercrafting supplies. Only at Jo-Ann Fabrics.
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