HEY, PUSSY SNORKELS, NOW'S THE PERFECT TIME TO ENJOY 40% OFF PAPERCRAFTING SUPPLIES

  1. It's summertime, so you know you can count on three things:
  2. Fireworks accidents
  3. Boatloads of dong
  4. And 40 GOD DAMNED PERCENT OFF THE GREATEST SELECTION OF PAPERCRAFTS IN THE ENTIRE WESTERN HEMISPHERE.
  5. That's right, chucklefucks. Ol' Jo-Ann Fabrics is rolling out the big, papery guns.
  6. We're offering such deep discounts on papercrafting materials that WE'RE GOING TO LOSE MONEY THIS QUARTER.
  7. But guess what?
  8. See, this ain't our first rodeo.
  9. We know we can give it away for practically free up front, 'cause we're gonna get that real money on the comeback.
  10. Once you get a taste of baller fucking papercrafting THIS amazing, there's no going back.
  11. So kiss goodbye to Hobby Lobby.
  12. And let Michaels know to choke on a fat one.
  13. Because you're part of the Jo-Ann Fabrics family now.
  14. 40% off all papercrafting supplies. Only at Jo-Ann Fabrics.