IF IT'S A CRIME TO LOVE AMERICA AND ALSO SELL COCAINE, THEN LOCK US THE FUCK UP
- •"Uncle Sam" decided to start some shit with good ol' Jo-Ann Fabrics, "charging" us with "felonies" just because of we don't believe this BULLSHIT about "Schedule II Drugs."
- •Sorry, we thought this was FUCKING AMERICA.
- •Our forefathers didn't smash those limey British jagoffs in their colonial dirt buttons for us to let some trumped-up G men tell US how to run a business.
- •We mean, is selling a little yayo even really that much of a crime?
- •Shit, more people die each year by getting stabbed to death by our knitting needles than by any cocaine-related causes.
- •So we're fighting this bullshit. We're Jo-Ann Motherfucking Fabrics. King King ain't got shit on us!
- •50% off knitting needles. Only at Jo-Ann Fabrics.