IF YOU CAN FIND A XYRON 250 STICKER MAKER FOR LESS, WE'LL LITERALLY EAT A TURD SANDWICH
- •Look at this beautiful fucker.
- •That's some high-quality sticker-making shit right there.
- •We know that our low, everyday price of $24.99 is so fucking outrageous that none of our competitors would DARE sell it for any less.
- •If fact, we're so confident in our pricing that if you can find one for cheaper, every single Jo-Ann Fabrics employee, nation-wide, will eat a actual, real-life turd sandwich.
- •We get to choose the type of bread, condiments, and garnishes. But you get the satisfaction of knowing that when Jo-Ann Fabrics makes a promise, Jo-Ann Fabrics fucking DELIVERS.
- •You think Hobby Lobby are willing to chow down on a pumpernickel-and-poo sandwich to prove how dedicated THEY are to everyday low prices? Fuck no.
- •We fucking DARE you to try and find another deal this good.