IGNORE THE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTION IN YOUR MARRIAGE WITH THE HELP OF ONE OF OUR MANY ADULT COLORING BOOKS
- •Not riding the pork train to Boner City anymore? Jo-Ann Fabrics has been there.
- •Fuck intimacy. Who needs that when you can fill in blank space with crayons.
- •Your husband may not be able to maintain an erection, but YOU can maintain interest in creating beautiful mandalas.
- •You haven't had an orgasm since the Bush years. Big whoop. This Indie Rock Coloring Book ain't going to fill itself in.
- •You know can take your mind off thoughts of divorce? Drawing the blood coming out of children's stab-wounds in this book based on the popular movie series.
- •Maybe you're one of those religious types who thinks penises are secretly Satan wearing a party hat. Color your shame away in a healthy, Christian manner.
- •Re-creating the adventures of a boy wizard sure beats laying in bed motionless, wondering when the magic between you and your spouse died.
- •If you're feeling adventurous, draw dicks all over these critters. Draw an octopus made entirely of dicks. Who gives a shit? Go nuts.
- •If you can't get off, get creative. Available in-stores and online.