IN HONOR OF HILLARY BREAKING THE GLASS CEILING, WE'RE OFFERING 20% OFF ALL BROKEN GLASSWARE

  1. Surprise, motherfuckers! Hillary is the presumptive nominee!
  2. And to celebrate this momentous achievement, we're gonna throw you dingdongs a little bone.
  3. In honor of Hill-Dawg fistfucking the patriarchy and smashing through the glass ceiling, we're offering 20% off on our surprisingly huge collection of smashed and broken glassware.
  4. Yeah, we know what you're thinking:
  5. "What the fuck am I going to do with a bunch of broken glasses?"
  6. "Won't I just cut the shit out of my mouth and organs?"
  7. "And what kind of fucking craft store has this much broken glassware?"
  8. Well nut up, buttercups.
  9. Sure, you could drink out of a non-broken glass like a total douchetoboggan.
  10. Or you could COMMIT TO THE FUCKING CAUSE.
  11. We already know you have the biggest balls on the block. Now it's time to show the rest of the world how fuckin' fierce you are.
  12. 20% all broken glassware. In-store or online. Only at Jo-Ann Fabrics.