IN HONOR OF POKÉMON GO, WE CRAMMED A BUNCH OF MICE INTO PLASTIC BALLS AND HID THEM IN A MICHAELS

  1. You know what America really loves?
  2. Fucking while wearing socks.
  3. Trolling celebrities on Instagram.
  4. And motherfucking POKÉMON.
  5. Seriously, we're so excited these furry little shit stains are back.
  6. And to show our excitement, we bought the ENTIRE STOCK OF MICE FROM PETCO, SHOVED THEM IN PLASTIC BALLS, AND HID THEM IN A MICHAELS STORE IN AKRON.
  7. We even glued 9 volt batteries to them, so it's like you're finding a Pikachu of your very own.
  8. So get your ass in that Michaels AND FUCK SHIT UP UNTIL YOU CATCH THEM ALL.
  9. 30% off hot glue guns of you bring in one of our homemade "Pikachus." Only at Jo-Ann Fabrics.