JO-ANN FABRICS' THREE RULES FOR GRABBING LIFE BY THE PUSSY

  1. 1.
    Corduroy is not an effective form of birth control.
  2. 2.
    If you don't lock your trunk, the alligator will escape after devouring your handcuffed business rival your business rival and you'll lose your deposit at the alligator store.
  3. 3.
    No one ever built a business empire without accidentally running over a few gypsies.