MAKE AMERICA CRAFT AGAIN WITH OUR YUGE SELECTION OF PATRIOTIC BULLSHIT
- •Fuck everything. The Trump Train is rolling and you dumb dicks seem to all be aboard it.
- •Since our preferred candidate, @GovJohnKasich decided to puss out and run away from a challenge like a titty baby, we figured fuck it, we'd better lean into the madness.
- •So in honor of you, the beating, xenophobic, poorly-educated, reactionary, furious heart of America, here's some fabric with flags and eagles and shit on it.
- •Holy fuck: eagles THAT ARE ALSO FUCKING FLAGS? Make some shorts out of this and be the hit of your Elks Club meeting.
- •We think this eagle is supposed to be the president. Fuck it. We're not going to argue with fabric.
- •Nothing says "I fear people who are different than me" better than a sweatshirt made out of severed, patriotic dicks.
- •These owls look pretty American. You guys aren't scared of owls, right? Because we just don't know any more.
- •30% off all patriotic nonsense store-wide until Election Day. But please start paying in gold bricks. You know, in case things go tits up. Only at Jo-Ann Fabrics.