1. Let's be honest: shit sucks right now.
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  2. You can't read the news without being horrified by any one of the dozens of major fuckups currently cock-slapping their way around the globe.
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  3. We're all just looking for a way to deal.
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  4. But you know what's half as expensive antidepressants and twice as habit forming?
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  5. Yarn.
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  6. Seriously, that shit is the TITS at making you feel warm and comfortable.
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  7. Just try squeezing this warm ball of happiness and not feeing years of anxiety and frustration slip away.
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  8. We know how overwhelming this shit can be.
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  9. But you're tough, god damn it.
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  10. You're a motherfucking Jo-Ann Fabrics customer.
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  11. If you were gonna puss out when life got to be too scary, you would shop at a mid-tier diarrhea silo like Hobby Lobby.
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  12. But you're fucking better than that. You're a champion.
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  13. All yarn 80% off until society is no longer a charred hellscape. Only at Jo-Ann Fabrics.
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