SOMEONE TOOK A SHIT IN ALL THE CUPCAKE BOXES AT STORE CA-118

  1. We just heard from our manager that someone snuck into the store last night and took a shit in EVERY SINGLE CUPCAKE BOX IN THE STORE.
  2. Seriously, what kind of sick fucking animal decides to drop trou and squeeze one out in a box meant for adorable cakes? Is that just something people do in Fresno?
  3. Hey, dickhole, if you're out there reading this, we at Jo-Ann Fabrics have a message for ya.
  4. WE WILL FIND YOU.
  5. WE WILL HURT YOU.
  6. WE WILL FEED YOU TO THE TIGER WE PROMOTED TO ASSISTANT MANAGER.
  7. WE WILL FUCKING END YOU.
  8. So laugh it up, butt-nugget, 'cause that's the last shit you're ever taking in your life.
  9. On a related note, all floor-model cupcake boxes are now half off. In-store only.