TELL YOUR GRAD "WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD MOTHERFUCKER" WITH A JO-ANN FABRICS GIFT CARD

  1. Congratulations! You managed to raise a child for 18 years without abandoning it at a mall.
  2. Good for you. We know how hard that can be.
  3. Now that your little condom filling is all grown up, it's time for them to pack their shit and get the fuck out of your house ASAP.
  4. And nothing says "NEVER COME BACK YOU UNGRATEFUL WOMB TURD" like a $25 Jo-Ann Fabrics gift card.
  5. You've sacrificed so much for your child. But now you get to sit back and watch as they flail helplessly while trying to transition into adulthood. It's fuckin' rad.
  6. Let's be honest, your kid will probably spend every dollar you give them on drugs, porn, or the ponies.
  7. But with a Jo-Ann Fabrics gift card, you can be sure your little organ farm is spending their money the right way, like on sequins or Star Wars pancake molds.
  8. So say goodbye to parental responsibilities and hello to a lifetime of estrangement the Jo-Ann way.
  9. 10% off gift cards with promo code "ISHOULDHAVESWALLOWED." Available in-store or online. Only at Jo-Ann Fabrics.