THE JO-ANN FABRICS FOURTH OF JULY TO-DO LIST

  1. SELL BUTTONS.
  2. DISCOUNT FABRICS.
  3. CRUSH PUSS.
  4. SMOKE CHEEBA.
  5. RIDE EAGLE.
  6. FUCK EAGLE.
  7. MARRY EAGLE.
  8. EAT EAGLE.
  9. BANKRUPT MICHAELS.
  10. SHIT DIAMONDS.
  11. CRUSH ADDITIONAL PUSS.
  12. LOVE AMERICA.
  13. 60% off everything with a flag on it. Only at Jo-Ann Fabrics.