THOSE HUMORLESS PRICKS AT THE FTC CLAIM OUR MOTTO IS A "TERRORIST THREAT," SO NOW WE NEED A NEW ONE
Those class-A dipshits in their Washington ivory tower claim that because the words "ISIS" "Jizz-Caked" and "Needlepoint" appear in our corporate motto, it technically constitutes a threat to the homeland. So, help us think of a new one! The winner will be literally drowned in buttons.
- •Jo-Ann Fabrics: I must eat Jon Favreau's childrenSuggested by @tombatten
- •"You can't spell 'Jo-Ann Fabrics Thinks Hobby Lobby Should Go Blow Themselves' without 'Jo-Ann Fabrics.'"Suggested by @Waz
- •Jo-Ann Fabrics Fucks!Suggested by @tombatten
- •Happiness is a Warm Glue Gunstuffed buttons-deep in your craft holeSuggested by @Gola
- •We Put The 'Fuck You' in 'Anyone Who Shops At Michaels Can Slip On A Bag of Dicks And Fall Into A Pit Filled With Rusty Screws. Seriously, Fuck You, Michaels!
- •Great In The Burlap Sack
- •Jo-Ann Fabric: We have the stuff to make better shit than those other assholes.Suggested by @jlcinlbc
- •Jo Ann Fabrics: Your source for rendition hoodiesSuggested by @brianthecoder
- •"JoAnn Fabrics: Because Who Wants to Pay Less for Shit that's Already Assembled?"Suggested by @theranman
- •Sex, Drugs, 'n Discounted Crafting Supplies