THOSE HUMORLESS PRICKS AT THE FTC CLAIM OUR MOTTO IS A "TERRORIST THREAT," SO NOW WE NEED A NEW ONE

Those class-A dipshits in their Washington ivory tower claim that because the words "ISIS" "Jizz-Caked" and "Needlepoint" appear in our corporate motto, it technically constitutes a threat to the homeland. So, help us think of a new one! The winner will be literally drowned in buttons.
  1. Jo-Ann Fabrics: I must eat Jon Favreau's children
    Suggested by   @tombatten
  2. "You can't spell 'Jo-Ann Fabrics Thinks Hobby Lobby Should Go Blow Themselves' without 'Jo-Ann Fabrics.'"
    Suggested by   @Waz
  3. Jo-Ann Fabrics Fucks!
    Suggested by   @tombatten
  4. Happiness is a Warm Glue Gun
    stuffed buttons-deep in your craft hole
    Suggested by   @Gola
  5. We Put The 'Fuck You' in 'Anyone Who Shops At Michaels Can Slip On A Bag of Dicks And Fall Into A Pit Filled With Rusty Screws. Seriously, Fuck You, Michaels!
    Suggested by   @Nicholas
  6. Great In The Burlap Sack
    Suggested by   @Nicholas
  7. Jo-Ann Fabric: We have the stuff to make better shit than those other assholes.
    Suggested by   @jlcinlbc
  8. Jo Ann Fabrics: Your source for rendition hoodies
    Suggested by   @brianthecoder
  9. "JoAnn Fabrics: Because Who Wants to Pay Less for Shit that's Already Assembled?"
    Suggested by   @theranman
  10. Sex, Drugs, 'n Discounted Crafting Supplies
    Suggested by   @Nicholas