UNCLE SAM HAS A LOT OF FUCKING NERVE IF HE THINKS HE CAN MAKE US SHUT DOWN OUR FOR-PROFIT COLLEGE

  1. So we started a for-profit college, "Yarn State University," because if there's two things we love, it's getting money and teaching people how to make bird houses.
  2. Shit was going fine for YEARS.
  3. And then, all of a sudden, Uncle Sam comes along and sticks his big fuckin' nose in our business.
  4. Next thing you know, WE have to shut down OUR for-profit-college just because SOME DIPSHITS spent their life savings on learning how to bedazzle a jean jacket.
  5. Since when is this country about protecting people from themselves?
  6. That's not America. That's not eve Canada.
  7. So we're gonna keep on handing out diplomas printed in home-made paper until the rat bastards at the Department of Education PRU THEM FROM OUR COLD, DEAD, FELT-LINED HANDS.
  8. We ain't going down without a fight.
  9. 75% off all Yarn State classes with promo code "FUCKPELLGRANTS." Only at Jo-Ann Fabrics.