WE JUST GOT A WHOLE SHIPMENT OF BONES. WHO WANTS TO BUY SOME BONES?

  1. Jo-Ann Fabrics HQ just got three shipping containers of loose animal bones.
  2. As best we can figure it, someone at UPS fucked up and sent a whole mess if bones meant for a natural history museum to us.
  3. We COULD wait for UPS to unfuck this entire situation, but where's the fun in that?
  4. So, we're allowing you, our loyal band of merry dipshits, to buy all the bones you could ever want.
  5. Maybe these are from a dinosaur. Like a Boneasaurus Rex or something.
  6. These are definitely some sort of animal skulls. Ferrets? Yeah, let's say ferrets.
  7. These fuckers came in a clear plastic bag labeled "Bryan."
  8. We pieced together a full giraffe. But, honestly, we were just groping around in the dark. We have no fucking idea of these bones ever belonged to a giraffe.
  9. Loose bones $1.99 per pound with promo code "JOANNGIVESUSABONER." Only at Jo-Ann Fabrics.